For the last Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Today five days I have been overwhelmed with vertigo and the other evil pixies that come with it.
The last few days I’ve not been able to sit up, lean against anything or lie flat on my back without feeling dizzy, sick and just a little disconnected. I’m sat up right now, this is the longest I’ve managed in the last few days and it won’t be long until I’m sick again. I’m shaking, achey and my vision is a little off.
Neuro illnesses are not just about pain. They are about how I’m feeling now. I feel off. My breathing is now starting to mess itself up and the cold sweats are on their way. This condition doesn’t just stop me doing sport or lifting things, on days like today it literally pulls me out of the real world and makes me feel like I’m looking in from above. I don’t feel like I am a part of my body. People take drugs in order to achieve a similar state. I don’t get it.
My least favourite thing about this condition changes every few days, but right now the vertigo is on my hit list. This is no way to live and it’s ridiculous that just sitting up to use my laptop or read a book pushes me to vomiting. And I can feel the sick coming.
There is no cure for syringomyelia. My future is incredibly dull.